Now that the Great Blackberry Famine of 2011 has been averted (and more importantly, my biometrics appointment with USCIS won’t be cancelled next Friday), one’s thoughts turn to other more important things. Like why, in a country that brought us the iPad2 and AMC’s really quite good remake of The Killing, recycled toilet roll is such a disaster.

A couple of weeks back, I hit up Pathmark for a quart of milk (ha, get me with the lingo), and grabbed a 24-pack of Marcal Small Steps, thinking: large pack, less packaging, even more eco points for me when they do my 360 evaluation at the gates to hell.

But oh no. Instead, I discovered that inside the 24-pack were six individually plastic-wrapped bundles of four rolls each, with maybe 12 sheets of paper per roll, owing to the frankly crazy proportions of tube to tissue. And that’s not to mention the quality of the paper itself, which is why Rush Limbaugh and Sheryl Crow got into an absurd debate a while back.

Lest we forget, 98 per cent of American toilet paper comes from virgin forests. And there are some big behinds here.