Archives for category: Dancing!

I’m told that New York doesn’t make as big a deal of St Patrick’s Day as Boston or Chicago, which dyes its river green.

How, then, do you explain this:

How's he planning to eat that sandwich?

How's he planning to eat that sandwich?

The main event is a parade, featuring lots of little girls doing dodgy Irish dancing, bigger girls twirling batons in front of marching bands, and some very large men. Many of the men are firemen or policemen, with each squad marching in order of seniority, meaning that the oldest and largest-bellied are at the front, and the flirtiest and youngest are at the back. Moustaches are apparently mandatory for all.

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But as a Britisher who grew up in London in the 70s and 80s, the bit that left me openmouthed was the presence of a group marching under the banner, ‘Irish Republican Army’. ‘Ooh, it’s the IRA,’ said the couple standing next to me, and cheered.

It took all my strength, I tell you…

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So there I am, having my afternoon cuppa with the second half of Dr Phil, when a plane crashes into the Hudson river.

Instantly, America’s best swing into action. Hundreds of dedicated, highly trained operatives race to the scene by chopper, SUV or even on foot, prepared to do anything they can… to get the story. Yes, that’s right. Because in an emergency, America does what it does best: it goes to rolling news.

Every channel on TV instantly started talking nonsense. First, they’re telling us it might be a film set. Really, people? Really? On what planet could Hollywood crash a life-size plane into a major city’s waterway?

Then we get a succession of breathless reporters phoning in their lack of information (“the plane has now sunk completely into the water,” blathered one, when in fact it was just behind a boat). Meanwhile, back in the studio, the anchors were giving us insight we couldn’t possibly have worked out for ourselves (“it’s got to be cold in that water, I hope they haven’t got too wet”).

Obviously I was gripped.

But already, they’ve moved on to more serious matters. This morning, Len Goodman is on breakfast TV judging past presidents’ Inauguration dance performances. Bush Snr gets a 7 (“lacks content”), while Bill Clinton is “far too loose in the upper body”. And some might say the lower.